While Looking for a Place to Stay

Hello, friends! Those in the know, have been aware of my recent need to do the room mate shuffle once again. This housing search has me once again perusing ol' craigslist and as a result I've come across some pretty peculiar ads.

Like these for instance: http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/roo/1634053934.html

This ad is for a "sham" apartment. You wouldn't even be living here. This is merely a way for you, as a consumer, to lie to your parents about not having moved in with your significant other. If your parents have forbade you from moving in with your girlfriend or boyfriend, you can tell them, "Oh no, I moved into this great place in Alexandria". The people here will set up a room in their apartment to look like you live there. Given ample time, they can put some of your clothes in the drawers and closets and even mess things up to give it a "lived in" look. Each six month lease allows for two in-home dinners with your parents and significant other. It's an elaborate ruse worthy of sitcom considerations. I think that this is a brilliant idea on the part of whoever came up with this ad. If even one or two people buy into this, they have a pretty nice monthly stipend for discretionary spending. Kudos savvy craigslisters, kudos indeed.

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/roo/1634055344.html

I imagine that the poster of this ad is in a situation close to that of Seinfeld's Kramer character. There is an episode where he somehow attains an intern by claiming he is starting his own company, Kramerica Industries. He is offering to exchange rent for work in keeping up the apartment and assistance with his startup business. Note, dear reader, that he mentions that he is willing to share his room. The strange ordeal of exchanging rent for work in his version of Kramerica is not enough, you have to be sharing a room that may or may not contain a chicken. And with your help, they'll get that chicken.

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/roo/1633096878.html

Now, this one is not so bad. It might actually be innocuous. I can't tell if a male or female posted this ad. The title suggests that perhaps it is a classy, professional female posting for a similar room mate. It's just that I never see chicks talk about their TV's, surround sound, or various sundry other gadgets. That's what has me leaning toward some sketchy dude, looking for a classy woman room mate.

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/roo/1632547110.html

This one is definitely one of the sketchier ones I came across. I'm really astonished by the sheer amount of people who will exchange rent for some kind of labor around the house. This one goes that extra creepy mile by stating that you should be height/weight proportional (HWP). I had to look that up, I didn't even know what that meant. You are this person's personal errand boy, and you must also perform sex on demand. So you're a whore/personal assistant. Are there really people who buy into this situation? It's frightening that there might be.

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/roo/1642353154.html

This ad, while seemingly more friendly and accommodating still has an air of creepiness peppered amongst the flowery descriptions of your "part time job" and the relationship you two will share. He doesn't mind if you "walking around the house with your shirt off or your gym shorts low" *shudder*. "Let me know what you're comfortable with, and we'll go from there".
"Are you only comfortable with angry handy-j's in the bathroom? Or can we escalate to full-on reacharounds and voyeurism?" It's ads like these that make me wonder about the ads that post as "gay friendly".

This of course, as many of you know, is not the average craigslist experience, just the few very strange outliers. I've actually found some decent group houses that don't involve some sort of sex for rent exchanges. So here's hoping I won't be couch surfing in a week or two.